Self-Mutilation
And
Violence


Being Brought to the Point of Cutting
So exactly how is a person brought to the point where they feel the need to self-mutilate? First of all, get this straight. Self-injury is NOT suicide. They are two very different issues. Many people call suicide a last resort, and the person thinks that is the only way to escape the pain. I know from first-hand experience that suicide is not the answer. But unfortunately I was a cutter. It is an addictive behavior that many people are not able to subside. One thing is, many self-injurers could feel lost, or perhaps trapped in their emotions, and that drives them over the edge. However, not everyone will use self-harm to feel better. And that is a good thing I think.

Some Important Factors
There are many reasons people feel the need to be drawn to self-mutilation and harm.

Self-Mutilation Factors
Infancy (birth to 3 years)	Childhood (3 years to 12 years)	Adolescence (12 years to 21 years)
Rough Handling Neglect Abuse	Neglect Abuse Violent home Constantly changing homes Death in the family Isolation Any self-degrading thinking	Abuse Violent home Neglect Isolation Any self-degrading thinking

It may not only be these reasons though that lead people to self-harm. Here are a few other reasons why people cut, and some non-reasons as well.

Reasons
Self-Punishment:
In many cases, this reason is related to getting severe abuse as a child. The abuse may be from family, friends, or people at school. But the cutter gets a self-hating mind, in which they see themselves as worthless, fat, ugly, stupid, unloveable, anything they think of that makes them a bad person. And most of the time, these things they think are untrue.
Inability to express emotions:
Expressing emotion for many cutters could be their way of expressing pain. Most of those emotions are too painful or confusing to put into words.
Inability to cope:
More often than not, this results from childhood factors such as abuse, neglect, or severe trauma.
Regaining self-control:
This is where betrayal comes into play. Cutters describe this as feeling as being in a big black hole, where they feel lost and abandoned. They could think everyone is out to get them or hurt them. Basically this becomes a way to say, "Hey! See now? I am in control!" They turn mental and emotional pain into physical pain. It is much easier for them to deal with a physical wound or pain than an emotional one.
Revenge:
This reason is often mixed up with being attention-seeking and/or manipulation. This reason however means simply using their own body as a way to show anger or resentment towards someone else. They may not feel like confronting that person so they use themselves, if that makes any sense. Is somewhat becomes a secret language that only the abuser understands, and the people around them think of them as crazy.
Obsessive Compulsive Self-Injurous Behavior (OCSIB):
This is directed to mostly people with certain obsessive compulsive disorders, but this is where self-mutilation is involved. One example is trichotillomania which is a disorder where a person continually pulls their own hair out!
To show mortality or regain a sense of living:
Cutters often describe themselves as feeling numb or "not alive." The pain from the self-injury or even just the sight of blood, sends them proof that they are in fact alive.
Relief of tension or to release anger:
This is often compared to the other coping mechanism, crying. Both result from negative feelings of hurt or anger, involve the shedding of bodily fluids, are considered uncontrollable, and leave the person feeling tired, relieved, and calm afterwards. Coincidence? Hmm...
Expressionism:
Sometimes cutting is used as a form of expression, not necissarily to express pain, but in the case where tattoos or piercings are used, to show rank, connection to a certain group, or a number of other things.
Symbolism:
Some people carve symbols, words, or messages in their bodies. The scars are ways of remembrance of something they always forget or want to retain. Again this relates in some way to tattoos. They are also used to show a reminder of a certain event such as a relationship or death.


Non-Reasons
Suicide Attempts/Wanting to Die:
People MUST understand that self-mutilation is NOT suicidal behavior. Suicidal people want to die to end the pain, while people who cut do want to live and they feel the way to stay in control is to self-injure.
Attention-Seeking:
Self-injury rarely is used as an attention grabber because there are many OTHER things people could do to get attention. Breaking one's own bones, cutting one's own skin or burning one's own flesh isn't usually something simple like asking for attention.
Manipulation:
Same as attention-seeking, there are simply many other ways that people can manipulate people.
Masochism (Sexual pleasure from abuse and/or physical pain):
Self-mutilation is served as other purposes and the kinds of self inflicted injury such as on this site aren't about getting sexual pleasure from being abused. Masochism and self-abuse are two very different psychological issues. They are used to blame the cutter for being weak and pathetic to avoid solving the root of the problem.


For most cutters, there is some deep dark secret, one in which they do not share with anyone, and that secret is what tends to eat at their minds until there is nothing left. In many cases those secrets evolve from things like past trauma or death of a family member...whatever it might be, that secret is the injurer, not the person.
The problems or secrets the person is keeping could be something as simple as not feeling very loved. But ALL of them, all of the self-injurers, have one common problem-not being able to communicate their emotions verbally. Also, maybe that person was raised in a highly negative or overly positive environment. They can grow up without really learning methods of dealing with frustrating or difficult emotions.



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